Fresh Start Friday

I need a fresh start.  So today, I am giving myself one.  For too long lately I have just been "out of it".  I have felt so unhappy, unmotivated and like my life is just on PAUSE because of all the uncertainty that has been surrounding me.  I have been so paralyzed by it all that I just have not been able to move forward...or even sideways for that matter -- just haven't been able to do much of anything.  Even the things that normally cheer me up just haven't been cutting it lately.

I have been telling myself that I could do this or I should not do that because, well, we don't even know where we are going to be in the not so distant future.  Our dream house has turned into a nightmare because of the financial woes overtaking our country and then you factor in the sinkhole issue we have...bleck!  We are just stuck in PAUSE...not really sure how much longer or even IF we can stay in our house.  Wondering how much longer I will have a job just piles on the worry.  I have a 9 year old drama queen in my house too...I think my 11 year old son is the most stable out of us all...I suppose my husband could run a close second in that department...depending on the day ;)

There are two weddings coming up in my family too...one of my little sisters is getting married - this December 17th, in fact, and then my little brother is planning to tie the knot next May.  Wonderful reasons to celebrate...but stressful and expensive (yep, just throw that into the worry-cart too)

I tried taking a break from some of the things in my life but unfortunately, the only thing that has succeeded in doing is causing my friends to worry.

Last night though, I was talking to a friend, and while we are not in exactly the same situation in our lives there are some similarities and she made a few comments during our conversation that just really helped change the direction of my way of thinking.  Really simple things but finally, something that made sense to me and that could maybe even help me move forward instead of just being stuck on PAUSE.  It will take some time I am sure but I am determined to climb out of this black hole I have found myself in. 

So, I am giving myself permission to start over today.  I am making a fresh start.  I don't expect I have much of a following on my blog but at least by just putting it out there I am accountable to someone -- even if it is just Blogger! ;)

My first step is just to focus on the here and now and what I can do within and about that.  Seems simple enough, right?  Right.  Right?  Maybe not? 

I am a worry-wart by nature.  I think I may even be a bit of a control freak.  I like to have a plan and a list to go with that plan...I tend to be lost without those things.  And when things are so uncertain it is just that much harder to plan and make my list...and I just worry some more.

NOPE!  I can do this.  My first goal is just to enjoy my weekend...not going to stress about the house being a mess or the laundry or if the cat threw up again...nope, just going to enjoy my healthy family and the fact that we have a roof over our heads. 

I got this.